David's Reflections

Visions Of His Coming

I do not know how to describe it. I have this constant feeling that I am missing something. I go through the day always watching out for something to happen. And yet, at the back of my mind, I have this apprehension that it has already passed me by. 

I ask God to stay close with me. I pray that in the midst of this nagging emptiness and search for an illusive spiritual experience, my Lord and my God will be by my side. I do not know what else to say, and to whom should I go, but to our Almighty God who I know will take me in His arms.

These past few days, I have had this hunger for a deeper encounter with our God. I am not sure how to describe this venture or the depth of this experience. As one Christian mystic says, “The soul does not know how to speak of visions. [They] are so sublime that it’s not fitting for those who live on this earth to have the further understanding necessary to explain them.” (Teresa Avila: Selections from The Interior Castle. 2004:96) It is hard to describe this hungering posture. I won’t call it a vision per se, but more like a desire for a more personal visit from our Almighty God.

Paul speaks of Christians groaning inwardly as we wait for the adoption and redemption of our bodies. We have “the firstfruits of the Holy Spirit” and God’s Spirit helps us “with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:22-26). Jesus prayed earnestly and “his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:44). I do not pretend to be in the same league as Paul, or even Jesus. But their desire for a more intimate encounter with God resonates with my own. 

So, today, I go through my day like any other day. I talk to the cashier at the grocery store. And while she is talking to me, I listen to God. I ask myself: What is God doing in her life? How can I stay close to God while He is moving among the people of this world? I go outside and walk the busy city streets of Kaohsiung on my way to work. At the nearby park, I see a grandfather and a young child holding hands enjoying the morning. I ask myself: What is God’s feeling for these two family members when he sees them strolling this Kaohsiung city park? How can I align my feelings to that of God? I know my Almighty God will take me in his loving arms and stand by my side. I wait for him to come.

In-Between

My heritage is Filipino. My upbringing is American. I am one Filipino-American (FilAm) who is caught in-between these two worlds. Some days I feel more like one over the other. My roots are in the Philippines, but my citizenship is in the USA. You can just imagine the constant "turmoil" I have in my own personal reflection time. This struggle for identity is coming out in the open at this time of the Philippine General Conference 2019 (PGC2019), here in Butuan City, Philippines. Let me back up a little bit.

I am here in the Philippines as a visitor and representing FMWM, a missions arm of FMCUSA. I am here as an observer, and also as an "explorer." I am exploring new ways of doing missions here in Asia, starting this off with one-on-one meetings. I am meeting up with different individuals who have the passion and experience in doings missions work around Southeast Asia. Just last night, I sat down with Junmark, and listened to him and his various short-term missions trips to Indonesia and Thailand. It is encouraging to know that despite meager resources, many Filipinos like Junmark, are going out to the nations and fulfilling God's call to go and make disciples of all. So, during these meetings, I feel a sense of unity, a sense of kindred spirit that we have a similar vision, the call to bring the Good News to all tribes and cultures. My identity is no longer on my being an American or Filipino, but is grounded on God's call for every Christian to go and fulfill the Great Commission in our lifetime.

On several occasions during the PGC2019, many pastors came to me and said, "You once belonged to our Philippine Free Methodist Church conference." It is true. I pastored in the Northern Philippine Conference for eight years (before I moved to North Michigan Conference). I did not mind their comments. It did not matter anymore what my heritage or upbringing was. What was important is that these same Free Methodists here in the Philippines have the same vision for cross cultural work as the Free Methodists there in the USA. Both Filipinos and Americans have the same passion to obey God's call for world evangelization.

I am still caught in-between these two identities. But my loyalty is with the Almighty God. I am a Filipino, and I am an American. I belong to a people who are seriously obeying God's call to become a witness of God's love and salvation for all tribes and nations.

Encouraging One Another

“Now I know what you were talking about, Pastor. After the police arrested me because of my Christian faith, I remember the story you told us before, when you were in prison yourself.” These are the words of one anonymous brother who is sharing to Pastor Ben Mann (a pseudonym) his experiences with the local authorities.

Ben Mann, an FM pastor here in Asia, recounts to me this story over breakfast here in Thailand. We are here for a time of resourcing and mutual encouragement. We have different sessions to consult on the state of the work, as well as skill building and ministry equipping on different leadership needs and issues. Ben Mann and I are enjoying some down time over a meal and spontaneously sharing about what God is doing in Asia.

Many Christians here in Asia are persecuted because of their Christin faith. Mann’s story of one of his members is just one of the many examples that the Free Methodist Church is facing in its mission to spread the Good News of the Kingdom of God. We keep going. The Spirit of God continues to move, and so we move with God. Yes, we pray, but we don’t stop there. We  keep on encouraging each other and use these difficulties and persecutions to be a channel of the Good News. 

In 2 Corinthians 1:4, Paul says:  God is the One “who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (ESV) One reason Christians face persecution is that they can use these experiences to encourage one another, to uplift a brother or sister in the Lord, who is going through a similar trial or a time of suffering because of one’s Christian faith. Ben Mann’s story above is an example. Ben and his Christian brother are encouraging each other, sharing their common experiences when they were in prison because of their faith in God. Together, they partake of Christ’ suffering and comfort (2 Corinthians 1:5-7). Together, they glorify God.

So, the next time you are in a difficult situation or going through trials in your life, remember Pastor Ben Mann from Asia. Remember Paul’s words from the Corinthian Epistle. Remember the comfort of Christ and the hope that our Lord gives to us. Also, remember that in the years to come, someone with a similar trial and suffering will come to you, and the two of you, together, will encourage each other in the Lord. And your sister in the Lord will say to you, “Now, I know what you are talking about.”